


Ilias

by BrokePerception



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 11:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokePerception/pseuds/BrokePerception
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elizabeth's little boy refused to give without a fight... DuCaine /Sequel to: Secrets, Lies, and Goodbyes/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1, part 1

(¯`·. _ .•´¯¥¯`•. _DEDICATED TO LITTLE ILIAS_.•´¯¥¯`•. _ .·´¯)

 

December 13th, 2007  
\- February 23th, 2008

This piece of fan-fiction was mainly written as a dedication and in memory of little Ilias up there in Heaven, who died fighting for a life like a warrior.

* * *

 

BETA READ by _Lady Anemone_ & _Queen Sunstar_

 

* * *

Chapter 1: (TRISTAN) ILIAS – part 1

**§ Every time I try to talk to you  
I get tongue-tied  
Turns out everything I say to you  
Comes out wrong and never comes out right** ****

**So I say 'Why don't you and I get together  
and take on the world and be together forever'  
Heads we will and tails we'll try again  
So I say 'Why don't you and I hold each other  
fly to the moon and straight on to heaven  
'Cause without you they're never going to let me in § ** ****

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

Young Elizabeth couldn't sleep. Her thoughts kept her awake.

The dark blond girl was laying in her bed at Calleigh and Horatio's residence, looking up at the white ceiling. Her gaze slowly trailed off to the bright green curtains and the rest of the room. Even though she couldn't really say that she actually missed the woman and man she'd always seen as her mother and father; even though this was starting to feel like home to her – a much happier one than the one she'd been used to – she still felt like something was missing.

Both Calleigh and Horatio cared a lot about her, and neither of them was afraid to show it. She really liked them, and she absolutely adored their daughter Emily. Yet, she still longed for that special someone in her life, perhaps especially because she'd once known him.

Her sad gaze touched the picture on her nightstand. It showed her on a tiny porch swing with Ilias, his arms securely wrapped around her and Liz' small hands grasping them tightly. She'd never wanted him to let her go, but not long after the picture had been taken, he had disappeared without explanations. She still could not figure out why he would have done that. He could have– She sighed; she couldn't say what she thought that he could have done or said. Maybe informing her would have been nice, instead of just suddenly leaving her a crying fool with tons of unanswered questions, so she wouldn't have had to hear it from a friend. She would have appreciated hearing it from Ilias himself. Why, mostly. And that phone call from Ilias hadn't really given any answers, because it had only confused her even more.

She had no idea why she still kept the picture on her nightstand. Even though tangible memories along with the ones in your head were nice, when you haven't been able to move past them, being confronted with physical reminders just hurt big time. And even though Liz knew she hadn't moved on yet, she couldn't quite make herself put away the evidence of her special someone being out there, even though he was so far away; for her it was like evidence that true love like it was so often described in children's fairytales existed in reality, too.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

It had been just under a month since Elizabeth had moved over to the DuCaine apartment, and she'd dare say she'd perhaps found her place after all. She'd changed her last name at the same time as her home address and now she could start living as a true Duquesne, without her last name reminding her of the parents that had never wanted her. When the door bell chimed through the living room on an early Monday evening, the young adult found herself closest to the hallway that led to the wooden front door, since Calleigh and Horatio were both into the kitchen trying to cook a proper meal together – even though Liz highly doubted cooking was all they were getting up to in there based on the giggles that came from the direction of the kitchen. She yelled something in that direction, got up grumbling from the couch, and made her way to the hallway and front door. When she opened it, she saw a familiar figure standing on the doorstep there, with a giant suitcase at his feet. "I-Ilias?" She couldn't believe her eyes. Was this another one of her vivid dreams about him?

At first, Liz just stood there in shock at his appearance, unable to speak or move, until she heard his voice say, "Are you going to invite me in, or are you going to leave me waiting on your doorstep? It has been a long trip, Liz." Then, completely wild with excitement, her eyes still widened in pure shock, she threw herself happily into his arms, screaming his name as loud as her voice allowed, scaring a toddler out across the street.

"How did you get back here? You–" Liz uttered, remembering the flight was rather expensive and consequently unaffordable for her boyfriend, like he had explained to her on his last call. He would have to work for at least six more months, without spending anything of the money, to be able to pay the ticket back.

"I have been working full-time, and found a nice sideline for the weekend," Ilias explained, a smile across his face when he saw her eyes; the twinkles of happiness and sweet mischief dancing around in them just like he remembered. He promised himself never to say what exactly he'd gotten into to be able to get the money together fast. "And it was most definitely worth it, babe."

Elizabeth pulled back a little, capturing his sparkling brown eyes. She couldn't decide whether to hold him tight or relax into his arms. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Could it be too good to be true? She sighed. She'd longed so much for her Ilias to get back that it embarrassed her to think about it. Her Ilias. And yet at the same time something still seemed to threaten her feelings of happiness. What had he been up to in England? Had he been faithful to her? Had he shared his bed with others there, in the months the two of them hadn't seen each other? No, Liz said to herself, as she still clung onto him. He wasn't like that. He truly loved her, didn't he?

He'd come back for her, hadn't he? Yet, he'd left her without saying as much as a goodbye, too. She knew that she still hadn't moved on, but eventually she had won control of herself and her feelings again, and she didn't want to lose that stability. She already felt herself losing ground. Liz's head simply felt too small for this avalanche of mixed and competing feelings right now. She just wanted to hold him after all this time. Her Ilias, she thought, even as she realized he didn't really feel like hers anymore.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

Liz looked up at him smiling, but she knew that he could see the truth behind that smile anyways. Thus, she simply stopped pretending and quietly put her glass of 7Up down on the table the two of them were sitting at. She and Ilias were in a small but cozy cafe close to Miami Beach. Calleigh had suggested they go to town together to catch up with each other and offered to let Ilias sleep in the guestroom. She'd known that a lot of talking would be needed to fix this. "What's wrong, Liz?" Ilias asked, reaching out to lay his warm hand on hers gently. She couldn't pull back; it simply felt too good to feel him again, even if only that familiar warm hand.

"Why did you leave me?" She asked, tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes again. She dabbed at her eyes angrily; didn't really want him to see her cry. No answer came. "Why didn't you explain, Ilias? Why?" Again no answer came.

"I love you," he finally replied her, hurt visible upon his own face. "I never stopped loving you. My thoughts were with you all the time, wondering what you were doing and worrying that maybe you'd found someone else before I could come back." He had been gone for months, and didn't know anything about what had happened in the meantime. Maybe she'd fallen in love with another guy? She had a way of making a guy feel special, important, and Ilias knew many guys would do almost anything to be in his place. That was how he'd remembered things being before he’d left to England.

"Then why did you leave me without explaining anything? Then why did I have to hear it from Louisiana's brother? Why not from you, Ilias? Why not from you? I cried myself to sleep for months; didn't have the faintest idea what was going on. You left me!"

"I came back," Ilias whispered. "I came back for you."

"And I waited for you," Liz spoke, tears flowing from her eyes at this point. "I couldn't let go," she cried. "I just... couldn't..."

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

Calleigh looked up briefly from cutting up baby food for hungry Emily as her sister walked into the kitchen. Liz yawned, moving over to the refrigerator to get some milk, when Calleigh interrupted saying, "The milk and cornflakes are already on the table, honey." Elizabeth turned back around and sat herself down on the chair closest to her, reaching out to take the box of cornflakes and shaking some in her cereal bowl, then pouring a little milk over it.

The blonde's brow crinkled watching her younger sister's appetite, or rather lack thereof. "Not hungry?"

"Not really."

"Ilias still asleep?" Calleigh asked, handing her daughter the ham sandwich she'd made for her and reaching out to take Emily's cup and refilling it with apple juice before handing it back to the toddler smiling, stroking her finger along the little girl's cheek lovingly.

"I guess," Elizabeth answered, head leaning on her hand as she just dangled into the breakfast bowl with her spoon, not having eaten anything yet. She then dropped her spoon into the bowl and pushed it aside in annoyance. "Where's Horatio?"

"He left early for a double homicide in Palm Springs," Calleigh answered, then looked up at her sister meaningfully. Emily curiously watched both women, as if she expected that they would start a song and dance routine for her. "Ilias has had a long trip. It's pretty understandable that he'd like to sleep in... if that's what bothers you. It's something else, though. Isn't it?" Liz now looked up as well, sighing and opening her mouth a few times before she could speak.

"It's just so confusing right now. It's like I need to get used to his presence again."

"That's understandable, too."

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"I have always been told that the sunset in Miami is the most beautiful for couples who are madly in love with each other. I think we're one of those, aren't we? I'd love to see it with my girlfriend in my arms," Ilias said, hopefully looking up at his own girlfriend a couple of days after his return. He could feel that things were getting close to how they had been before his departure. Elizabeth's eyes wandered over to Calleigh, silently asking for permission, as the older couple was sitting in the other couch with their daughter. Since Emily's parents had gotten home from CSI earlier than usual, the possibility existed for the young couple to go out just the two of them that night.

"Go," was all Calleigh said, gently rocking her daughter on her knee. Not that she actually needed their permission, but Liz usually preferred to check things with Horatio and Calleigh first. She lived with them and respected the couple very much, and felt like it was the least she could do for all they'd already done for her. Her eyes wandered over to Horatio, who stroked over his daughter's blond hair, giving Elizabeth a light nod and a soft grin.

O°O°O°O°

A little while later, Ilias and Elizabeth were walking over the beach, with their respective pair of shoes in their hands, and each holding the other's free hand tightly. She would never let go of him ever again. She loved him too much for that. In the distance, a little boat was sliding over the light blue water of the ocean. "I couldn't get over you..." Liz admitted. She knew that she'd told him this before, yet felt an irrational need to repeat it again. "I couldn't even think about being with someone else. I..." At that, Ilias held her closer to him and lovingly kissed her forehead, saying, "I'm here now, and I'm never leaving you again. I promise."

Before either of them had really noticed, the sun had gone down, and they had ended up at a lost side of the beach. Ilias smiled, throwing his shoes in the soft sand and pulling his shirt over his head, before he hastily started unzipping his pants. Liz didn't need more of a cue, and impetuously disposed of her clothes as well. Then, both of them ran into the sea, naked, tightly holding each other's hand like before the contact had been broken. And there, in the cold azure blue water, they kissed each other again under the twinkling stars, for the first time in months. Months that suddenly didn't seem to matter anymore.

O°O°O°O°

When the young and impulsive couple had come home in the middle of the night, after their rather short but invigorating dive, Liz found a little note on the kitchen table, which said both Calleigh and Horatio hoped they had enjoyed themselves, and with the request to please don't wake the baby if they were staying up. Giggling, Liz navigated them to the bathroom to shower and to dispose of all the sand. If there was something the youngest Duquesne really hated, it was sand between her toes. Afterwards, she and Ilias ended up in her bedroom, with the door tightly shut... And after reassuring Ilias at least four times that she really wanted it, they made love like never before.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

The Hummer came to a halt at the crossroads, as their song filled the car Horatio had lent them for that night. Ilias' lips formed the softest smile, as his sparkling brown eyes wandered over to his girlfriend, who was sitting beside him in the passenger seat. He himself was sitting behind the wheel. He gently took his girlfriend's hand over the transmission gear and squeezed it while they waited for the light to change. They smiled at one another.

The red light finally turned green, and Ilias let go of her hand to set the transmission in the correct gear, then moved his foot from the brake to the throttle and slowly released the clutch, causing the car to continue its way home. It was already getting towards morning, and Horatio would need the car to drive to CSI. Ilias and Liz had left the rave about ten minutes ago, leaving mostly drunk boys and girls. The couple had been at the party all night long. And although Ilias was legally allowed to drink alcohol, he had stuck with his girlfriend and had kept it to Tonic, without any Gin.

Ilias's eyes were back at the road, but Liz's still hadn't left his face; a soft smile graced her gleaming red lips. It had been a while since she had enjoyed herself this much. It had been even longer since she had been at a rave. And now she had just had probably the best night of her life. Maybe one thing could make it even better… something which had to wait until they got home. She watched the handsome guy beside her closely, still not quite believing that he was back, afraid that he'd disappear again the moment her eyes left him, when she suddenly noticed two glowing yellowish white headlights, which bore down on the Hummer at full speed. Liz's pupils narrowed rapidly in fear, her heart beat coming to thump on the side of her head in panic. "Ilias, watch out!" she screeched, her voice sounding about an octave higher than usual.

Ilias' eyes quickly looked for what could have scared Elizabeth so much, then riveted back to his girlfriend, before the car of a drunk driver, who had ignored the red light on his side, crashed in on the department Hummer in which the couple sat.

Two piercing headlights, this was the last thing Liz remembered before all the lights went out in her head...

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

The soft beeping noise of the monitors that registered her vital functions, and Whiskey Lullaby playing in the background of her foggy mind brought Elizabeth floating back to consciousness. Her mind displayed an image of Ilias and herself dancing to the song and him singing along with that wonderful voice he had. Liz couldn't quite be sure whether there were memories flooding her mind or just dreams. She had a huge headache, and couldn't quite find its cause. She couldn't remember anything, she concluded after a few minutes of trying to steady her sight. What she saw was a complete blur.

It weren’t Ilias's sparkling brown eyes or smile she saw when she opened her dull emerald eyes, though. It was Calleigh's nervous expression she found before her. It took a few minutes for Elizabeth to concentrate enough on her half sister's face to steady it and try and see the cause of her expression. Had she been crying? Elizabeth felt pretty disoriented, yet was trying to figure things out. "Liz? Can you hear me? It's Calleigh..." The green eyed girl looked around her wearily and noticed all... white. She realized where she must be and understood at least one thing. There was at least one question answered, but that didn't mean she still didn't have a lot of unsolved ones. Unsolved ones she needed to have answers to as well.

"Why am I here? Where's Ilias?" she asked ever so softly. Her voice didn't allow her to pronounce it louder than a whisper, and her whisper was still almost inaudible.

Calleigh carefully took her sister's hand and squeezed it carefully, chewing her lower lip in what looked like fear, and looked up at her husband for help. Only then Elizabeth realized he was there as well. There was, however, no sign at all of little Emily or Ilias. Maybe they were downstairs in the cafeteria for a drink? Calleigh sighed deeply, realizing it came down on her. She'd be the one to tell her. She felt Horatio's hand on her shoulder as a support and managed to speak two words. "I'm sorry," she whispered, shaking her platinum blond head with unshed tears, realizing it could have been Liz as well.

Understanding Ilias hadn't survived the car crash in which the young couple had been involved, Elizabeth's world came crashing down on her. And 'together' became a word of which the meaning had been lost. An intellectual concept from which all feeling had disappeared into thin air, irretrievably lost. The mantra just kept playing inside her head. 'He's gone, and I'm still alive...'

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

Liz tried to lift her head lightly, but even the tiny motion brought a surge of nausea, and she sank back over the pot. Horatio was a light sleeper, and was woken by the retching sound. He was holding his wife tightly to his chest, and kissed the exposed skin on her neck to wake her. Calleigh'd want to know. She moaned, her sparkling light eyes blinking open as she too heard a sound coming from the bathroom. "Horatio?" Again, both heard someone throwing up. "Liz," Calleigh answered her own unfinished question. "Handsome, I'm going to check on Elizabeth first," she decided, being torn apart between the lust for the man in her bed and the concern over her younger sister. She kissed his lips and made him promise not to move an inch until she was back before moving to sit up.

She pushed herself upright with one hand and swung both legs over the edge of their bed, releasing herself from his grasp. He rolled on his back, folding his strong arms behind his head, as he watched her make her way to the bathroom, where Elizabeth was sitting on her knees in front of the toilet pot, supporting her lower abdomen with her right hand and holding the edge of the pot with the other. Probably to prevent herself from sinking down in a shaky mess on the floor. Tears were lying on her flushed cheeks. She didn't even hear her big sister entering the room.

O°O°O°O°

Calleigh lowered herself next to Liz and started rubbing circles on her lower back, trying to comfort her as best as she could. She didn't know if it would help, but she couldn't sit by and do nothing... "I'm fine," Liz said, before the other woman even had the chance to say something. She tried to look more stable in front of the CSI as she attempted to hold on to the remains of her last meal by will alone.

"You don't look fine."

"I'm fine, just... I'm good, don't worry about me."

Calleigh frowned in concern, suddenly feeling like an intruder in her own bathroom. Her sister clearly needed some time alone. "If there's anything..." she whispered, quietly moving to leave the bathroom and turning around to eye her sister one last time as she reached the doorway. She left feeling very uncomfortable about the situation.

When Calleigh finally left the doorway, Elizabeth spit out the vomit that she'd tried to hold in.

O°O°O°O°

When Liz didn't come down for breakfast the next morning, Calleigh's concern was aroused even more. She decided to check up on her before going to work. Horatio agreed that would be a good idea. Just as she was about to go up the stairs, a visibly very ill Elizabeth walked into the kitchen, undressed but wearing a thick sweater over her pajamas. The blonde's investigative instincts kicked in. She thought this to be very odd, since Miami was as always hot and Liz usually couldn't stand the heat that much.

Horatio turned around to face her, too, seeing his wife's alarmed expression. The vision of Elizabeth he saw alarmed him as well. Her green eyes were sunken and purple bruises under them indicated an acute lack of sleep lately. She looked very pale as well, and in addition she seemed to be shaking all over even though she was wearing a thick sweater.

"Liz?" Horatio's low rumble sounded, as he noticed her hand going to the side of her head and as she wobbled on her feet momentarily. As she regained her balance with the help of the doorway, he thought he'd noticed her teeth chattering for an instant.

"I'm fine," she said.

"We," Calleigh started, looking at her husband doubtfully and receiving a light nod, "We are very worried about you. Horatio and I have noticed how you have been throwing up a lot lately, and since we remember what you did last time Ilias left–" "He didn't leave me, he's gone!" Liz interrupted, and started crying again, like so many other times since Ilias's death. "I'm sorry," Calleigh apologized. "I didn't mean to upset you, we're just... Please tell us the truth, Liz, we are worried that maybe you are–" "Drinking again?" Elizabeth finished.

Silence fell, until Emily started screaming, apparently not happy that her presence seemed to be unnoticed. Calleigh quietly stood up and moved over to gather her daughter in her arms, still looking anxiously at her sister as she managed to shush her daughter, rocking her. "Yeah," Calleigh admitted honestly.

"I'm not drinking again," Liz said quietly. "I wouldn't do that, not when... I think I'm pregnant."

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"And there's your baby, Ms. Duquesne," the female gynaecologist stated, running the transducer over the young adult's lower abdomen, a layer of cold gel lingering between the ultrasound instrument and the girl's skin. Calleigh had explained that this would be needed to make sure the sound waves got through, because sound waves could not penetrate air, no matter how thin. When Liz looked up at the monitor and saw her child, she couldn't contain the tears. Calleigh smiled, gently squeezing her sister's hand.

"I'd say you're about nine weeks along. Here," Dr. Crocker indicated with two fingertips on the screen, "you can see the little fingers slightly moving if you look really close. I'd think 1.1 inches and 1.8 grams is just a little small at this stage of your pregnancy. The fetus is doing completely fine overall, though, so I wouldn't worry."

Elizabeth tore her eyes from the screen and looked up slightly worried at her older sister, who smiled. That really reassured her.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"I want to have it so badly," Elizabeth cried, on her knees in front of the toilet again, a couple of days after the gynecologist's appointment. Calleigh had been woken by her getting up and was now sitting right beside her. "Our baby is the only thing that's still left of him. I cannot..."

"I understand," Calleigh nodded. "I understand; don't worry." Calleigh and Horatio had been utterly shocked when Elizabeth had confessed to them about the positive pregnancy test she had taken, confirming she was having Ilias' baby. Because of the situation, however, they had as well understood that she'd really like to keep the baby. Neither of them had made much trouble about that, but there was just still the worry that she would not be able to do this. She was barely eighteen after all.

A few silent seconds went by without throwing up. Liz was pretty sure she was fine now and clutched the edges of the pot tightly, trying to get up. The older blonde reached out to help in the process. For a couple of seconds, Liz actually managed to stand upright shaking. Then she reached for her abdomen again, and sank back over the toilet. It didn't seem to stop and Calleigh wondered what was still left to throw up. She hadn't properly eaten since the accident, even though everyone had told her it'd be better for the baby she carried. Calleigh knew she tried really hard for Ilias' child, but she just couldn't get more than a few bites in her stomach.

Elizabeth felt as if her whole stomach was already retched inside out. It hurt. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it all seemed to fade. Finally. Liz was pretty used to this daily ritual now, but she really didn't want it to last for the rest of her pregnancy, like it did with some women, or it would become the death of her someday. She closed her pain filled eyes for a second. "Go back to sleep," Elizabeth said, not really looking at her half sister as she spoke. "I'm going back to bed in a minute, too."

"Lizzy, are you sure you want me to leave?"

The girl nodded, and Calleigh understood she probably needed some time alone now. Liz's pregnancy was very radical both physically and emotionally. Especially emotionally. Thus, Calleigh quietly left, giving her half sister a peck on her forehead and granting her all the space she wanted and needed.

O°O°O°O°

The night of their reunion, Elizabeth and Ilias had made love to each other without protection. They knew what they were doing, though. If she wound up pregnant, the baby would be just as welcome as after ten years. It would have been made with the same love. Both of them were sure the love they shared with each other wouldn't ever burn out. Right then, however, neither of them would have guessed what the future held. No one could have known that a drunk driver would take the baby's father away barely two weeks after the couple's reunion, before the eighteen-year-old even found out she was really pregnant.

Ilias had died right on the spot, while Elizabeth and the child had survived. It had been a miracle the baby was even still alive. Liz had been so upset about it all, and when the hurt had started to recede, she discovered she was pregnant with Ilias's child. In the commotion of the car crash and his death, she hadn't dwelt on the fact she could be carrying their child right then. What hurt her the most, though, was that Ilias would never know she was having his child. Unless – could he see them from heaven, she wondered? She couldn't imagine he would have gone anywhere else. Maybe he was the baby's guardian angel now.

O°O°O°O°

Calleigh joined her husband under the sheets again, and felt his blue eyes staring at her. Horatio was probably waiting to hear how Elizabeth was holding up in the bathroom. "Tough as nails," she commented, adding a sigh of concern. "As usual. It seems as if she doesn't want me near." Horatio allowed her to hide into his chest, as he pulled her close. "She's–" "Everything's going to be alright, sweetheart," Horatio promised. "With Elizabeth, and with the baby she's carrying. She just needs her space, but she'll come to you eventually."

The blonde's eyes captured his as she broke apart from him for a few inches. She simply looked at her husband, resolutely. Then, she pulled him into a kiss and lay back, allowing him to pin her into the mattress and opening her legs to give him better access.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

Hearing Emily's screaming from upstairs, Calleigh put her sandwich down on her plate, and stood up from her chair at the breakfast table. Leaving Elizabeth and Horatio in the small kitchen, she made her way up the stairs to the baby room, and licked the remaining chocolate spread off her fingers on her way. "Mommy's coming, princess!"

"You are going to be late if you don't hurry up and eat your breakfast," Horatio stated gently, noticing how the teenage girl was again toying with her food and just kept on dangling her spoon in her bowl of cornflakes. Liz's eyes caught his as she tilted her head lightly. "Calleigh and I both are quite worried about you two," Horatio said ever so softly. Liz's teeth bit marks in her lower lip as she struggled against the tears.

"Our baby just has to survive," she whispered, not being able to prevent a tear from rolling down. "I can't– I wouldn't be able to cope with losing this baby," she uttered, both hands running over her fourteen weeks pregnant belly. "This is the only thing that's still left of Ilias, and I don't want to lose it, too," she cried.

Horatio turned to her and allowed her to cry into his chest, his hand running soothingly over her back, and occasionally combing through a strand of dark blond hair. He couldn't care less about his shirt becoming streaked with her carbon black mascara. The shirt could be replaced easily. Unlike Liz. It would be a whole lot worse to lose her.

"Ilias's dead, and I'm not," Liz whispered hoarsely.

"Sshhhh," Horatio soothed. "Everything's going to be alright." He had lost track of the times this sentence had come from his mouth the last few months. "You have to believe that." And Liz did and believed him on his word. "But, if you want the baby to live, you have to eat."

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"Ann?"

It was already October 8th. The car crash had happened around the beginning of July. Elizabeth had taken the positive pregnancy test two months after. And another month later, Liz had recovered enough to start her very last year at high school. There, she'd met Ann. Ann was new in Miami and was starting her last year as well. She had moved over from Phoenix because of her dad's new job. The two took about half of their classes together and had become great friends in just a short time.

The girl caught the eyes of her best friend. Elizabeth knew she wouldn't be able to hide the pregnancy any longer. Her tummy was gradually starting to pop out. "Ann, I'm very lucky to have you as my friend. You've already been pretty amazing about what happened before we met and respecting my feelings, and I really hope this doesn't change anything, but... I'm pregnant. I wanted to tell you before I'm starting to show..."

"What?" Ann almost yelled and came to a sudden halt in her tracks on their way to Chemistry. Liz sighed and understood she owned her friend some further explanation. If she wanted her friend to understand this, she needed to explain. "It's Ilias's. We made love bare about two weeks before the accident." 'And after,' Liz added privately to herself. She'd told her friend about him, and about the crash.

Ann therefore immediately understood most of it all. Liz was going to want to keep the baby. She was still plain shocked, though, and saw how Liz' teeth clenched her bottom lip. All those memories of Ilias must be torturing her deep inside at that moment. All her friend wanted to do, was hugging her tightly. So that's exactly what she did. "Are you sure about this?" Ann asked, gently. She'd probably do the same in her friend's place, but still felt the need to ask. Her friend nodded into her shoulder and that answer was all she needed. From that very moment on, Ann promised herself to support her friend all the way. She was going to help Liz through it. No matter how much it would cost.

The buzzer went off for its second time, indicating that if you weren't in your respective class in exactly two minutes, you might expect an hour of detention.

O°O°O°O°

One of those classes Liz and Ann took together was Chemistry. The girls shared a work bench in the front.

In the beginning of the practice course, Mrs. Brown had explained twice where the contents of their respective test tubes should be going after analyzing the chemical reactions the different fluids launched if brought together. Most of the chemical fluids were dangerous if not handled correctly, but Mrs. Brown was someone who found practice more important than theory. Plus, she was absolutely right when she said you understood the aspects of Chemistry better if you could really perceive what happens. The students were all seniors, and she was convinced the age brought responsibility. The responsibility and ability to be able to handle even the more dangerous chemical liquids.

Mrs. Brown had put an empty Erlenmeyer flask on the empty student bench in the front, where the chemical solutions should be going after the reactions. She wanted to make sure they wouldn't mistake this flask with the other one on her own bench in the front, in which the products of the juniors' lab were kept. Its contents weren't yet neutralized. And it couldn't be poured down the drain until that had happened.

Suddenly, Liz heard a soft fizzing right next to her. Her eyes searched the source of it, and she realized the sound was coming from the Erlenmeyer flask on Mrs. Brown's bench. Standing in the front of the classroom, the girl had a fair view over the rest of the lab. She saw Wyatt returning to his place in the back of the classroom, and realized what should have happened. Too late. "Mrs. Brown!"

Wyatt had mixed up the two Erlenmeyer flasks. He probably hadn't been listening again when Mrs. Brown had explained and had poured his own test fluids with the juniors' ones, creating a dangerous mixture of chemical fluids... that could explode any moment.

The forty-four year-old teacher raised her head in shock and realized what was going to happen. "GET DOWN!" She yelled.

BANG!

Everyone present in the Chemistry lab was smashed on the floor by the impact of the explosion. Mrs. Brown was the first one to respond to the situation, and told all students to evacuate. A huge alarm went off, as the fire broke out where the front benches had stood. Nothing was left of them.

Elizabeth had been the nearest to the explosion, and had had the biggest blow as well. She had consciously pulled up her legs to protect the fetus in her womb as she'd been blown backwards. Ann didn't like her clutching her lower abdomen much, though, and decided right then and there to get her friend to the hospital. As she hovered over Liz, she also noticed a gash on her right cheek, where a piece of flying glass had probably grazed her skin.

"She's pregnant," Ann explained, as Mrs. Brown squatted beside the girls and her shining brown eyes watched the student closely. She and Elizabeth really liked their Chemistry teacher, so Liz wouldn't mind Ann telling her. And she would notice herself in a couple of weeks anyway. "The baby," Liz cried, softly, fearing for the life in her womb. "The baby..."

Elizabeth ended up being brought to the E.R. by Mrs. Brown, her friend Ann not leaving her side for a second.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"Horatio."

Hearing his first name, Lieutenant Caine raised his red head to eye Calleigh. There was nothing left of the happiness which had been audible in her voice that morning. It had been replaced with something that made him look up. Something... urgent. Her shining black pupils were wide, Horatio noticed, as he caught her glance. He saw how she was biting her lower lip nervously and wondered what was going on. He pushed some papers aside and got up. "Calleigh..."

"There was an explosion during Chemistry class. Elizabeth got hurt and has been taken to Dade Memorial," she announced, hands in her long, straight blond hair.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"Just... leave me alone," Elizabeth almost begged her best friend, both her hands clutching her lower abdomen tightly as she was laying on her side looking out of the window. When she saw a young woman pushing a pram with what Elizabeth assumed was her son or daughter, tears filled her eyes once more and she instinctively closed them against what would be a happy sight for anyone else but pure torture for her. She still had a long way to go, and even though the sonogram had showed everything was completely fine, she feared that something must have gone wrong.

"Liz. Please," Ann begged, getting up from her chair next to the hospital bed and sitting onto the edge of the bed instead, gently reaching out to lay her warm hand on Liz' arm. Her friend still refused to look at her. "I don't understand why you're angry with me."

"I'm not! I just..."

"I understand," Ann whispered with a deep sigh and got up, leaving the hospital room as her best friend requested.

O°O°O°O°

Ann closed the hospital door behind her and sighed. She silently joined Mrs. Brown, and lowered herself on one of the chairs, until the sound of high black court shoes caught her attention. Calleigh hadn't been lying. Ann highly doubted it had even been ten minutes...

"How's Elizabeth doing? How's the baby?" She asked, as soon as she reached the chairs. Horatio was right behind her.

"They're both alive," Liz's friend answered the urgent question, and she tried to add a faint smile. "The sonogram showed she and the baby are both fine. This baby's a... miracle, but she knows she could have lost Ilias's child easily and even though she's been very lucky, it upset her a lot. She's been given a mild sedative to calm her down a little."

Calleigh nodded approvingly, before looking up at her husband. She swallowed, and lightly knocked on the door, before entering the quiet hospital room.

O°O°O°O°

"Get lost," Liz whispered, hoarsely, facing the world outside through the open window, recognizing the sound of the high heels on the shiny hospital floor. Elizabeth had been in here just a little too often to her own taste. She had learned to recognize the sound of Calleigh's shoes. "No," the CSI replied. "I'm not leaving you." Silence. "That's not the way it goes down." More silence. "I'll be there for you, even if you don't want me right now. I'll be waiting until you do, Liz."

"I'm so afraid something's going to happen to this baby, Calleigh," Liz cried, softly. "His baby." She rolled her head over to the other side, and her shining emerald eyes found those of her half sister, who walked over to the hospital bed. The Firearms expert sat on the edge, seeing through the haze of tears lingering in Elizabeth's eyes. All those tears of pain; the pain of lost love which hadn't had the chance to blossom.

The teenager grasped Calleigh's hand tightly. The extra hormones spreading through her made Elizabeth an easy target for tears. She was a real tough one, and didn't quite understand why she was crying so much lately. "Come here," Calleigh whispered, saying it was alright to cry. Alright to need someone to cry with. Liz sank into the CSI's arms, hanging onto her as if she was that one thread that kept her from falling. "Oh, Liz..." And she started to sing softly. **"Come here, and cry on my shoulder. I'll hold you 'til it's over. I'll rescue tonight. Let my arms be your shelter, your hiding place forever.** **I love you more than life..."**

* * *

**§ 'WHY DON'T YOU AND I' by CARLOS SANTANA & CHAD KROEGER**

**§ 'CRY ON MY SHOULDER' by OVERFLOW**


	2. Chapter 1, part 2

Chapter 1: (TRISTAN) ILIAS – part 2

Ann and Liz were sitting on Ann's double bed in the middle of the bedroom. Their Mathematics books were spread all over the duvet. The pregnant one of the two pushed her reading glasses higher on her nose with her thumb. "So, if the square root of one hundred sixty nine, is thirteen..." She bit the back of her pencil in thought and inhaled a long breath. Ann started laughing at this. "What?"

"Nothing; just... it's pretty funny to watch you cracking your brain about Mathematics, not minding about that bump there." Liz laughed. She was sitting in lotus position, which made her subtly swollen belly pop out. Although she was already more than halfway through her pregnancy, there still wasn't all too much belly visible yet. It seemed like she had simply put on a little more weight. Suddenly, Liz felt something move inside her tummy. She immediately dropped her pencil, startled, and moved her hand to the place where she had felt it, but couldn't feel anything. "What's wrong?" Ann wondered anxiously.

"I think I just felt the baby moving," Liz replied, a smile spreading on her lips.

"Really?" Ann exclaimed, dropping her own pencil as well, thrilled to feel on her friend's belly; to feel the baby moving around. She laid both hands on Liz's belly, and moved them all over the bump, but it was over already. "How does it feel?" She asked, her glistening dark eyes wide with excitement.

"Strange," Liz answered, laughing, picking up her pencil again and continuing doing homework.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"I feel like a washed up whale," Liz sighed, running a soft hand over her immense stomach. She had popped out a huge belly at eight months. It was incredibly hot and... her feet were totally killing her. Not to mention her lower back, which sometimes felt like failing under the weight. Liz still hadn't the faintest idea about the gender, it was a closed legged baby. She just had this feeling it was going to be a girl, though, but couldn't directly explain why. She secretly hoped the baby was going to be a girl, actually, because she was almost sure a baby boy would remind her too much of Ilias. Plus, she hadn't really thought about any boy names either... She had been wondering about names, of course with the help of her best friend, but had only gathered a list of girl names that she really liked. 'Quinn' and 'Mahelia', both kind of unusual ones, were ranked on top.

Elizabeth and Calleigh were both sitting on the edge of the bath tub, and watching little Emily playing with her yellow rubber duck. Eleven months had gone by fast, Calleigh stated. Her daughter would soon be a grown-up woman, making her own decisions in life… but she had some years left until that time.

"Going to pee?" The CSI asked, the question thickened with her southern accent, half laughing, half understanding, as the teenage girl pushed herself onto her swollen feet.

"Of course!" Elizabeth replied, sighing, on her way to the adjoining toilet. She had lost track of the number of times a day she had to pee lately. Sometimes she hated to be pregnant, and sometimes she loved it, but every single time she hated it, she concluded that it was most definitely worth it, to carry Ilias's child. Especially as she suddenly felt the baby move around, doing his or her daily acrobatics, which gave her a wonderful feeling. Her whole pregnancy was close to wonderful. Except for the nausea in the beginning. And the baby kicking on her bladder, resulting in her having to pee so often.

O°O°O°O°

As Liz entered the bathroom again, Calleigh just finished drying off her daughter. The toddler was laughing through the whole process of bathing, like always. Elizabeth watched little Emily, as she was being cared for by her mother. It didn't take long before the little girl was wearing her cute pink pajamas. Calleigh picked up her daughter, softly tickled the little one's tummy, before handing her to Liz, whose smile only widened. Elizabeth made the toddler giggle by pulling wrinkles in her nose. The CSI watched them from a distance. All was good.

O°O°O°O°

All three females heard the front door closing gently, indicating Horatio was home. Ryan had needed some help with moving his furniture to paint over the living room. Eleven-month-old Emily started giggling spontaneously as she recognized the steps of her father in the hallway downstairs. She had been trying to make her first steps, with a little help from Liz, who sat in lotus position on the purple carpet in the toddler's bedroom. Calleigh's eyes were twinkling from her spot on the other side of the room. "Horatio? Your daughter is trying to walk here!" she exclaimed, as the redhead appeared in the doorway, having followed the giggling sound.

Liz cautiously let go of the toddler's little hands, as she made her first steps alone, in the direction of her father. The three adults applauded at her accomplishment, before she failed on carrying her own weight and was caught by Horatio, who smiled at her widely. "I told you she could walk!" Elizabeth said proudly.

Calleigh smiled, standing up to tuck her daughter in. It was already past bed time for the toddler. She took Emily from her husband, and kissed him playfully on the nose when she did. The little girl gently protested, but she was too tired to put up a fight as Calleigh carried her daughter to her crib and tucked her under the sheets, giving her a kiss for goodnight. Horatio smiled, too, grabbing Liz under her armpits and pulling her upright in one swift movement. "So," he said, "just to inform you, Ann is going to be at the door in exactly thirty minutes."

Elizabeth's eyes wandered over at the dial of her watch. Horatio was absolutely right. "Crap."

O°O°O°O°

Elizabeth was dancing through the house like before, with her iPod quite too loud, and a voice which was falser than a wrongly voiced piano. The dancing part, however, was perhaps a little difficult with her huge belly, but that really didn't mean she didn't give the best of herself... Plus, the most important was probably she was dancing again, and singing. Like before.

"Done," Liz finally said to herself, satisfied with the result, as she closed the dark red lipstick she had borrowed from her older sister, and felt the baby lightly kicking against the inside of her womb. "Good evening, little one," she cooed, giggling. She looked at herself in the mirror again and batted her carbon black eyelashes. She was pleased with the result of her try on Smokey Eyes. She'd tried it before a couple of times, but it had never quite worked out. She mostly ended up looking like a raccoon or an insomniac. This time, however, it had turned out quite well, using a mixture of her own make-up and some of Calleigh's things. She looked good, she stated, as she turned sideways to check just how far her tummy was popping out. She ran both hands over her bump and started laughing. Where had the time gone that she could still cover her swollen abdomen with both hands? She wouldn't want to exchange this for then anymore, though; the life growing inside her, and obviously alive and kicking, made her feel so happy… happier than she'd been in months.

Downstairs, Horatio turned on the music very softly, more like a background sound. Only they counted at this moment. He and Calleigh, who looked at him from the living room couch with a little smile and stood up when he didn't join her, the more than subtle mischievous twinkle in his glistening blue eyes. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively to her, as she slowly moved over to her husband, and their fingers entangled before she sank against his chest. Her head was lying on his shoulder as he gently whispered the words of the song in her ear, **"That I just want you to know... I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you."**

Calleigh had to keep herself from dreaming away in his arms. The velvet-like rumble of his voice always seemed to soothe her; always seemed to touch her personally. She smiled into the crook of his neck. In just almost two years, she'd gotten to know his deepest secrets. Years back, she would have never thought that the great Horatio Caine would have that kind of pop numbers in his collection, let alone know the lyrics and sing along, but she'd soon found out that there were just as much pop CDs into his living room cabinet as old country ones. She'd come to know he liked Mary Chapin Carpenter, mainly because he had most of her CDs. His favorite song of hers was _Passionate Kisses_ , he'd once told her. He tended to turn the song on once in a while. She tended to turn it on all the time when it had just come out. She'd been around the same age as Elizabeth back then. It had been her favorite for years, and now, after all these years she still really liked it, next to many others. She liked a lot of songs, and she realized she couldn't really pick one in particular anymore, though aforementioned song would surely always have a special meaning to her.

On her way down the stairs, Liz suddenly heard a quite irritating ringing, which announced Ann was there. The DuCaine moment in the living room was brought to an end, as the speed of sound echoed the ringing through whole the house. "I'll get it!" Liz yelled. Hurrying off the last steps, Elizabeth opened the door for her friend, and immediately noticed she'd gone back to her old 'normal' purple hair color for the occasion. Yes, she was indeed a pretty eccentric and crazy person, but a very good friend, too. Liz quickly walked into the living room to say bye to Calleigh and Horatio before heading out. The girls were about to go to the eighteenth birthday party of their friend Emma. Ann's dad would drop them off at the party, and Horatio or Calleigh would come and get them afterwards. It wouldn't be turning too rough, so Liz should be able to manage with the baby bump.

It would be the last party she attended before the baby was going to be born. Calleigh and Horatio had both thought it was important for her to keep on enjoying herself whilst pregnant. Because, with the little baby there, it would all be changing. She would be a mom, and have a responsibility towards her child. Not that the young woman really regret this, because it would be Ilias's child, too. Ilias's daughter. Oh, she was still convinced it was going to be a girl... Calleigh and Horatio had already ensured her to help in the beginning of her pregnancy, though, from the moment she had decided to keep Ilias's baby. A decision about which she hadn't needed to think any longer than two seconds. She was really grateful for having a big sister like that and such a great guy as her husband.

Elizabeth's hands suddenly went to her earlobes, as she realized she'd forgotten about her earrings in her hurry. She grumbled at the thought of having to get upstairs again. She'd put the silver cubes right on the bedside table. "Don't worry, you can borrow mine," Calleigh said, undoing her own earrings, understanding the situation without words. It didn't take her more than a few seconds to produce two dangling crystal earrings, and give them to her half sister, who gratefully took them and put them on. "Thank you," she said, hugging Calleigh tightly. The crystal earrings were just beautiful and matched the black ear stud in her right ear, which she had gotten at the age of fourteen. She had done some eccentric things as well, including dying her hair fuchsia once. It had been in one of her first years at high school.

"Are you ready?" Ann asked, impatiently.

"Should I?" Liz asked the present people in general. She failed to notice her friend rolling her eyes.

"That's only your decision to make," Calleigh replied with a smile, pointing at her protruding abdomen, meaning both of them. Liz's eyes wandered over to Horatio, who wasn't very helpful either.

"If you feel like going..."

"She does!" Ann interjected. The baby just started its acrobatics again in its mother's womb, and Elizabeth's hands moved over to the place where she felt it best. It had gotten a habit, doing that.

"I'll take that as a yes," Liz giggled.

"Fine," Ann said, gently grabbing her friend's wrist and pulling her towards the door. "We're going, before either of you changes her mind again. BYE!"

"BYE! HAVE FUN!" Calleigh yelled after. "She's a good influence for Liz," she continued a bit softer, as the front door closed behind the two young women. Horatio nodded, as his wife joined him on the couch and snuggled close to his side.

"She's going to be just fine," he smiled, before leaning in and finishing what they'd started earlier.

O°O°O°O°

Elizabeth was sitting on a bench outside waiting, it was just too hot for her inside. She felt like collapsing under the heat in there. There, however, was this guy, this amazingly drunk guy, who really bothered her. With his more than subtle smell of beer and drunk mumbling for starters. Liz was starting to feel very uncomfortable and hoped Horatio would be there to come and get her soon. Just her. Ann had hooked up with an older guy, who appeared to be a cousin of the birthday girl. She'd get home with him, she'd said. And there was just no reasonable talking to her friend once she had gotten her senses on something, especially not if it concerned guys and after a couple of glasses of Cava... It showed one of the differences between the friends.

Suddenly, the drunk guy was sitting beside her on the bench, and Liz instinctively moved away from him. When he came closer again, she jumped upright in discomfort. "I don't- think- I had- sex with you," the guy drunkenly hiccupped, pointing at her clearly rounded abdomen with a finger. "Did I?" Drunk guys just always seemed to occur at parties...

Right then, Horatio's Hummer drove up the parking lot where Liz was standing. She was about to get to the passenger side of the vehicle, when aforementioned drunk guy aggressively caught her wrist and held her from doing so. "Where are you two- going?" He yelled.

Horatio didn't have to doubt even a second, and got out of the vehicle immediately, walking over to the two. "Let go," he commended. He didn't. "Let go," Horatio repeated for a second time. The dark haired guy obeyed hearing the anger behind the redhead's words and let go of Elizabeth's wrist in the process of sinking down on the concrete, perhaps thinking it was his bed. The lieutenant turned his attention to Elizabeth, who was having tears in her pure green eyes. "Are you two alright?" Horatio asked. Liz nodded, as she gave him a little smile and pushed her head against his shoulder. "Did he hurt you?" Horatio asked, sternly.

"No," Elizabeth mouthed, inaudibly, shaking her head against him, then pulling back slowly to take a few deep calming breaths. "He didn't, I just..." she sighed and caught herself giggling again. "Hey, I'm pregnant..." Horatio chuckled out loud at her comment. It was just amazing how gentle Horatio always was with her, understanding how her emotions ran totally out of control at some points; how she sometimes cried for the silliest things or no reason at all.

"Where's Ann?" He remembered suddenly.

"She hooked up with a guy," was the only thing the young woman answered, but it was enough for Horatio to understand. He'd been young once upon a time, too. The redhead carefully led her to the passenger side of the Hummer and opened the door for her.

"Are you sure you two are alright?" He asked, gently laying a hand on her big, round tummy.

"The baby's maybe a little upset," Liz replied, looking down, smiling weakly at his caring gesture.

"Just like its mommy," Horatio added.

Elizabeth nodded, "Maybe irritated fits more," she said, nodding towards the drunk guy who seemed to have fallen asleep next to the bench she'd been sitting on earlier when waiting for the lieutenant to arrive. She gently covered Horatio's hand with hers and led it to the right of her navel, where she just felt the baby kicking. "Can you feel it?" She asked, looking at his expression carefully, eyes twinkling. Another kick. "You must have felt that one!" she exclaimed.

"I did!" Horatio smiled. "Ann would be jealous."

"Very jealous," Liz replied, winking. "Come on, we're going home."

Thing was, every single time her friend wanted to feel the baby moving around in Elizabeth's expanded abdomen, the baby decided not to kick anymore. Sometimes, Ann fruitlessly started to poke her friend's tummy, trying to trigger it to move again. It didn't even once. At those moments of impaired patience from Ann's side, Elizabeth shielded her bump as best as she could with both hands, and said, "Don't!" Both friends usually collapsed in a fit of giggles at that point.

As Horatio's Hummer drove along the familiar road home, Elizabeth's gaze diverted. Her right hand supported her chin as she looked outside the window and looked at the trees and houses passing by, and soon she'd lost herself in thought. Ilias and she had already seen a future together. A wonderful future with a bunch of children, all theirs, included. They had promised each other to make it true and get old together. That wouldn't happen anymore, though. All their hopes and dreams had been shattered in pieces. Broken, she was left behind, with his child inside her. They had conceived a child, but he'd never know it. There'd be a future for her, and for their unborn baby, but not for him. Nor for her Ilias. Elizabeth felt pretty sure that there wouldn't be someone else. He'd been one-of-a-kind. No one could replace Ilias. No one, and the real question was: did she want him to be replaced? She only wanted him back. Him, and not a replacement.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

It was... really starting to get heavy, in all ways you could imagine. Liz was over thirty-nine weeks pregnant, and she most definitely wouldn't mind if the baby decided to announce him or herself anytime soon. Elizabeth's lower back practically hurt all the time, due to the extra weight she carried around 24/7, and that in addition to the bump sticking out on tummy height made it hard to move in any way. She wanted the baby to be out rather yesterday than today. She just wanted to hold it in her arms. The hours of painful contractions and pushing herself inside out, however, was something the young woman didn't exactly long for...

Elizabeth tiredly patted the side of her big, rounded tummy and surprisingly felt a small kick in response that Sunday afternoon. "Are you awake?" She asked her baby, "I thought you were sleeping." She thought back at the night Ilias had returned, and their child had been conceived. He'd said the very same thing when she'd suddenly turned around to eye him.

"Why would you love me?" She'd asked him, disappearing into his arms. "You would have to be a real idiot to love me."

"If you really believe that," Ilias's immediate reply had been. "Then I'm the biggest one ever."

She smiled sadly, and unconsciously stroked her baby bump. 'Yeah... most definitely awake,' she thought, as the kicks inside became harder.

Liz reminded herself of the present and the open bottle of 7Up, before taking the green bottle cap from the kitchen-sink unit to close it and opening the fridge with her free hand to put it back. She turned, and looked up right when Calleigh walked into the room and reflected her own mega-watt smile. "The baby awake?" Calleigh asked, as her sister's hands moved to her baby bump trying to support it. She smiled, as the baby seemed to reply with a few neatly placed kicks. "I think so," Liz added, smiling brightly, then rolling her eyes as Calleigh moved closer to feel the young woman's tummy. Oh yes, she was used to this by now. Calleigh'd made it a habit to feel Liz' tummy whenever the baby started moving around again. The moments little Emily had kicked, had far been the best of Calleigh's whole pregnancy. She laid one hand palm on the side of Elizabeth's bump, and used her second one to try finding the movements. Elizabeth gently took Calleigh's hands and helped her a little, redirecting their hands a couple of inches lower. The older blonde could feel the movements, too. "You've got a very active baby!" Calleigh stated, as the unborn child seemed to settle down for a second, and she kindly removed her hands.

Elizabeth smiled back at her sister and picked up the two large glasses of 7Up from the kitchen-sink unit, and wobbled to the living room again, where Ann seemed to be watching something funny on the television. The young pregnant woman had put on more than forty-four pounds, which wasn't incredibly little for a first pregnancy. She couldn't even look at her own feet anymore. It sure explained the wobbling.

Liz had gotten pretty used to her friend asking if the baby maybe was awake every once in a moment. The answer had always been the same thus far, though, 'No.' Lately, the little kicker mostly seemed to be active at night. Elizabeth wasn't precisely surprised to hear that one question again, but Ann... definitely was at the answer. This time, as it happened to happen, the answer was different. "Yes. Awake, and... kicking," Liz said, lowering herself onto the carpet in front of the television as well, as she handed her friend a glass of 7Up and took a little sip from her own.

"Really?" Ann beamed, incredulously.

Elizabeth nodded. "Positively positive," she smiled.

Ann kind of dove forward to her friend's tummy to try feeling the baby's movements. She placed both of her hands on the bump, and ran them over it gently. Liz slightly rolled her eyes and lifted her dark blue tank top, exposing her pregnant abdomen. Ann continued to run her hands over her friend's expanded skin. "I can't feel anything!" Ann uttered, disappointed to the highest degree.

Elizabeth sighed. "Wait," she said, running her own right hand over the bump to search the movements herself. "Right there," she pointed, having found the spot, and gently bringing her friend's hand to the left of her stomach pit. "Right there, and lower, too." Ann's eyes went wide as she finally felt the baby moving.

"How does it feel?" She asked, smiling broadly.

"Still strange," Liz replied, giggling. There was no other word to describe feeling your own child do acrobatics in your own womb. A human being, able to breathe for its own if separated from its mother.

O°O°O°O°

Horatio had promised Calleigh's sister to help putting the baby crib together when he, too, got home. They'd only bought it quite recently. Elizabeth had been somewhat picky choosing, whereas she usually wanted to buy the whole store empty of fad baby goodies, anything which was and cute and little... It would eventually take six stores until she'd found her taste of baby crib. Impatient Elizabeth of course hadn't been able to wait until Horatio was home, and had secretly begun trying to put it together already, after Ann had left. Because, unlike Liz in her last stages of pregnancy, she still had to go to school the next day. The process turned out to be a little trickier than the soon-to-be-mom would have guessed, though. When Calleigh came downstairs from giving her daughter a bath, and didn't find Ann nor her younger sister in the living room or the kitchen, she put Emily in her small playpen and went upstairs again to find Liz asleep halfway on, halfway next to the bed. She seemed to have succeeded in putting the half of the crib together on her own, the CSI noticed, and the result was standing at the end of the master bed.

Calleigh managed to get her sister into bed and pulled up the sheets to tuck in the sleeping mommy-to-be. With a smile, Calleigh left the bedroom and shut down the light. It was barely half past six in the afternoon, but the female CSI was almost sure Elizabeth could use the rest, and the undisturbed dreams she probably wouldn't have anymore with the baby there.

When Elizabeth woke up about two hours later, she happily noticed the baby crib entirely put together at the end of the bed on exactly the same spot where only a beginning had stood before she must have fallen asleep.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

Early morning that May 6th, Liz's hand unconsciously went down to her lower abdomen and started rubbing little circles there, trying to make the little kicker settle down. Elizabeth had gotten a couple of days past her due date already. She could go into labor basically any moment, and if she didn't before next Monday, labor would have to be introduced. It had been Wednesday for a little less than three hours. Liz really hoped it wouldn't have to get that far.

The cramping pain a couple of inches under her belly button barely lasted for about thirty seconds, but it didn't take very long for another cramp-like pain to break through. The cramps in her lower abdomen had gone on and off for a while already, but it didn't feel any worse than the fetus's usual movements. Well, maybe just a little, but surely not by much. Thus, instead of realizing she had gone into labor, she'd spent about an hour trying to calm him or her. Useless, of course. Elizabeth suddenly felt something... something wet trickling down there, and a sharper pain than before coursed through her lower abdomen. She couldn't bite back a scream of fright – she hadn't anticipated this. "CALLEIGH!"

Liz started breathing with difficulty, as she tried everything she could to retrieve her mobile phone from the nightstand to inform her friend. Her fingertips managed to get a hold of it and she roughly pulled it towards her, hitting some specific buttons and waiting impatiently for an answer. She heard the hustle and bustle of two adults getting up in the room next door. Elizabeth had started panting heavily by the time Ann answered. "I'm... in... la-bor..." she just managed to get out before clutching her lower abdomen with both hands, mobile phone slipping between her fingers on the bed. On the other side of the line, An suddenly forgot all about her tiredness, and felt completely awake.

*Liz! I'm on my way. And I'm not stopping for any red lights!*

"Hurry!" Liz whispered into the phone, tears running from her eyes, mostly out of fright and panic.

O°O°O°O°

Elizabeth nearly crushed Horatio's hand, as the heaviest contraction thus far broke through. He was supporting most of her weight and carefully rubbed the right side of her lower back with one hand, while she had taken possession of his other one and squeezed it tightly with everything she had. "I WANT IT OUT!"

Calleigh looked up at her husband nervously for a short moment. The head of the fetus had started crowning already, and the female police officer didn't want to think about the pain her half sister must have endured already, before she had woken the couple by her scream. The first child, and labor, was most definitely the hardest. "Shh... You shouldn't push yet, Liz..."

"IT HURTS!" the eighteen-year-old cried before Calleigh even had a chance to finish. "I want it out, Cal..." she continued, much calmer, when the contractions had stopped again. "I just want it out..."

"We understand, Liz," Horatio spoke, quietly. "I understand you only want it to end at this moment, but you have to keep holding on for me, okay? You have to be as strong just a little bit longer... It's frightening, and you perhaps pictured all of this differently." The DuCaine couple shared a quite meaningful glance, as tears continued to make their fast way down Liz's cheeks. "But, you have to keep holding on for me; for that little girl, alright? You–" "Liz," Calleigh interjected on a serious tone. "I'm aware that it hurts. I've been there, done that. We're both aware. But... you really have to wait until you have another contraction. You're simply wearing yourself out like this. Pushing between them doesn't speed things up." The young woman looked up at the CSI nervously, and had to keep herself from panicking entirely. She tried to blow it off, chugging hardly. "You have to wait until another contraction's there," Calleigh repeated, and received a light nodding from the eighteen-year-old. "Good," she breathed.

The redhead's rubs seemed to make it easier for Elizabeth to try and breathe on a calm, steady rhythm, but the uncomfortable, burning sensation down there seriously worked on the far contrary. Liz tightly entangled her fingers with Horatio's, and reached for her sister's hand with her free one. "We're not going anywhere, Liz," Calleigh assured, clutching the younger woman's clammy hand tightly in hers. Another heavy contraction broke through. Elizabeth squeezed both hands close to death, as Calleigh encouraged her to push as hard as she could. "Push, Liz, you're–" "...pushing myself inside out!"

The dark blonde looked up into Horatio's blue depths, panting in between ragged breaths. "Almost there," he reassured. And he felt like he could go and start working as a midwife after having attended two births in scarcely one year time. Liz then took a very long and deep breath, before shutting her pure emerald green eyes and pushing as hard as she could, screaming her lungs out in the process, and squeezing. The sound was muffled by Elizabeth's gritted teeth, though. "OOW!"

One more push and the baby would be born...

O°O°O°O°

Ann immediately noticed the grey Hummer still sitting on its regular spot in the DuCaine driveway. She pulled up behind it and got out. The young brunette assumed that she'd have to find her own way inside and walked around the residence, looking for any possible entrance. Her eyes suddenly caught a window at the eastern side. Thank goodness it appeared to be open and at-grade! That, however, didn't change the fact that Liz's friend just couldn't reach the laundry and ironing room window. Horatio or perhaps Calleigh had most likely left it opened to have some fresh air sweeping in during the night and prevent the little room from getting smelly. Damn. If she could just reach by the window sill... Ann looked around her with nervous eyes and her glance fell upon a metal bin at the backside of the house. Ann immediately hurried towards it, and dragged it right under the window.

As the young women climbed onto the metal lid of the bin, she already heard her friend's muffled screams coming from upstairs. When Ann tried to pull her weight up and climb inside, the bin slipped from under her feet and rolled away from where she now hung. She continued to push herself through the small opening, and... it definitely wasn't a very soft landing...

The brunette scrambled upright swiftly, but instead of directly finding a door or light switch, she accidentally ran into a laundry basket. It took her few seconds to get out of it, but mere minutes until she had found her way out into the somewhat more familiar kitchen. Stairs. Panting, she ran into the next room, where the stairs were. Ann took two steps at a time and turned right. When Ann finally barged into her friend's room, the baby just popped out of her. The room filled with a shrieking screaming immediately; screaming of a baby boy with the name Tristan Ilias. Four adults let out their kept in sighs.

* * *

**'THE REASON' by HOOBASTANK; 'THE REASON'**


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2: WELCOME

"It's a boy," Calleigh announced. Her red haired husband had gone quiet when the little child had made its presence known. Elizabeth, shocked, eyed her newborn son in Calleigh's arms.

"A... boy?" Her big sister gently nodded and handed her her baby boy. Liz carefully held him against her chest, afraid to harm her son. She had a son. Looking down on him, she smiled. "He's perfect..." she whispered, more to herself than anyone else present. "Tristan Ilias," Elizabeth decided, and watched him carefully. Ten fingers. Ten toes. And all so tiny. "Hi there," Elizabeth whispered, allowing tears from happiness get past their barrier. She carefully planted a peck on baby Tristan Ilias's cheek. No one asked where she had gotten the name from. Ilias obviously referred to his father, who had died when the baby wasn't born yet. Tristan, however, Liz had gotten from the ancient Celtic legend 'Tristan and Isolde', which showed the adulterous, yet impossible and in the end tragic love between a handsome Cornish knight and an even more stunning Irish princess. Elizabeth had fallen asleep in her boyfriend's arms while watching, close to the end. He'd carried her to his bed and sat watching over her sleeping movements all night. That already seemed ages back, but in reality it hadn't been much longer than six months.

CSI Duquesne proudly watched the new mother and child from a distance, as Ann gently walked over to the bed and looked down at her newborn godson for the first time. Horatio would be the little boy's godfather. Old memories filled the CSI's mind. Her own rather hard pregnancy and its complications, loosing Horatio's unborn child and her father in barely one year... It had all cost so much effort to continue; so incredibly much energy. Calleigh could be described as someone who usually didn't allow things to turn over her life, but she had never been too cheerful anymore. The Equilibrium kept her standing, though. The balance between death and life, which she had witnessed from the first row. Because there was still little Emily, and Elizabeth. Liz had lost her Ilias into the car crash, but had given birth to their healthy baby boy nine months after. Little Tristan Ilias was the living evidence of the fact his young mommy was, despite her eighteen years of age, so... incredibly strong. Evidence of the indisputable fact a little hope could make the difference. Everything was balanced now, and Calleigh saw that all was good.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

Calleigh heavily rested her forearms onto the steering wheel, and sighed, before hiding her tear streaked face in her arms. Her grey departmental Hummer stood on the parking lot of the cemetery. It was the first time she came here since Duke's funeral. She'd been at the hospital earlier to visit Elizabeth and little Tristan. They'd been brought to Miami General that morning, to make sure mother and child were all right. The decision to come visit her father's grave had been made from the moment Calleigh had left her little sister's hospital room half an hour before. It had been a rather impulsive decision, but not a less necessary one. Because she realized this was something she'd had to do. Something she'd had to do alone, too. Without Horatio. She'd known she could handle it, but hadn't had the faintest idea how she would be feeling back in the Hummer, on her way back home. She'd taken time off until Monday to help Liz out with the new baby. Calleigh revved the engine to life and pulled out of the parking lot. Silent tears ran thin lines over Calleigh's flushed cheeks the whole way back home, but she wasn't entirely sure what her tears triggered. She felt some strange relief inside. Like she felt soothed to have gone past that barrier, a barrier that had been too painful to cross before. If she'd known that she would feel like this afterwards beforehand, she'd perhaps made the now rather abrupt decision sooner. She recalled that night when her father had died. Auntie Alexx had offered to watch Emily for a couple of days, which Calleigh and Horatio had gratefully accepted. Little Emily hadn't needed see her mommy in that state of sorrow, sadness and grief.

o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°

_"I want you to make love to me, Horatio..." Calleigh whispered. "I want... need..." she begged, almost, tears stinging behind her green eyes, their customary twinkle not present. "Please... make me feel alive again..."_

_"You are, sweetheart," her red haired husband gently replied. He hated to see her like this, her ail making her numb, which proved just that his wife was alive. Even though he wished, it wasn't into his might to make it all go away. He wished he could with every single whimper that came from Calleigh's throat. He poorly tried disguising a sigh of... a sigh of what? Frustration? Incapacity, maybe? "You might... not be alive and kicking, but... alive, at least. And I think that is the best that we could desire right now."_

_"Horatio." She looked up, gazing into his deep ocean blue eyes, until he eventually cracked under it. He soon found himself on his back onto their bed, his wife straddling him. His light fingertips went from Calleigh's shoulders to her lower back and upwards her spine again, concernedly. He didn't want to make love to her this way. To anyone. "Calleigh? I..."_

_"I need to feel alive," she repeated, while she started undoing her husband's pants. Calleigh tried to keep her tears unshed, as she hardly sank down his length, forcing him inside of her. She pinned him into the mattress, holding his wrists above his head, as she started to ride him hard, her pelvic bone grinding against his._

_"Calleigh–" the redhead kindly protested, but fell silent seeing her eyes. He sure had enough strength to free his wrists if he wanted, but he didn't. Horatio wanted her to take the lead this time, because that was precisely what she wanted, and needed. He met every single one of her thrusts, and rather soon both panted in almost culmination. He still saw only sadness in her pure emerald eyes, though. Horatio slowly rolled the pair of them over. He gently pulled his wife close to him, as she started shivering all over. "Are you cold, sweetheart?" Horatio asked._

_She didn't answer for a couple of minutes, then said, "No. I'm fine." She'd stopped shivering and seemed to have gotten more control over herself again. "Wanna try again?" Calleigh asked in the same begging tone._

_Horatio sighed. Who was he to refuse love-making with the woman he dearly loved?_

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"Surprise!" Calleigh whispered into the young woman's ear, removing her hands in front of Elizabeth's emerald green eyes. As she slowly opened them further, she immediately realized where she was. They were standing on a stage. Liz turned around in shock, and looked at the older blonde in panic. "I believe in you," she replied, even before Liz had had a chance to protest. Calleigh kindly smiled at her for a brief second, before pushing her farther on the stage, in front of a half filled pub.

"But!" Liz panicked, as she kept on looking at her sister with her sparkling green eyes. Music started playing somewhere in the far background, and when the melody became louder, she recognized it almost immediately. Surprise? What surprise? It had been... a little while since she'd sung. And her voice wasn't really the same anymore as then, Elizabeth thought. Her voice had changed along with her. It had become a little... rougher, maybe, but that didn't mean she had quit singing under the shower as well. Although it hadn't been much in that hard period right after the accident. She'd sure loved singing and writing songs, once, but it already seemed years back since she last had. She used to find accords on her father's old guitar, fitting with the words that she'd written down as lyrics.

**§ I get wings to fly... I'm alive...**

Liz's head shook lightly a few times, and she didn't really seem like she was going to sing, but then her gaze fell on little Tristan Ilias, apparently asleep in his godmother's arms. Seeing him so restful gave her strength. She inhaled some ragged breaths, and walked over to the microphone without exhaling. There, she started singing with her eyes shut, and a very shaky voice, **"When you bless the day, I just drift away. All my worries die, I'm glad that... I'm alive."**

Right after the first chorus, Liz gradually seemed to calm down, and opened her bright green eyes. Her soft voice suddenly didn't shake anymore, as she started singing along. When she realized this for herself, too, she began to really enjoy standing there on that stage.

The redhead had proposed to celebrate Tristan Ilias's birth properly on their way home from the hospital, all six of them together: Calleigh and he, Elizabeth, Ann and the children. He hadn't even told Calleigh anything of the surprise he had been planning. It hadn't been obvious for her until the Hummer drove up the small street where the bar was located, she had understood what he must have been planning. She and Horatio had been at the karaoke bar a few times during her pregnancy. Mostly because it was very cozy and usually quiet there. If people weren't imitating pop songs (rather poorly, most of the time) on the small stage, of course. Plus, she'd heard her half sister singing a few times as well, and Horatio had mentioned her singing to be very good a couple of times. Ann, who was present in the Caritas as well, just couldn't get over the fact she hadn't noticed her best friend having such an amazing voice before. She had heard her singing a few times, yeah, but she hadn't really dwelled on the question if she was good, too. Something that she couldn't believe she hadn't. Elizabeth actually was... way more than good.

Suddenly, the young woman on stage heard the CD cracking, and it was then she realized it must be her own disc playing. Elizabeth remembered all songs on it in order, and did something neither Ann, Calleigh or Horatio would have expected her to do. As the soft melody of the next song started to fill the pub, she sincerely took the microphone from its default, and started to slowly walk towards the edge of the small stage. **"Now I've had the time of my life. No, I never felt like this before. Yes, I swear it's the truth. And I owe it all to you..."**

Horatio's eyes briefly captured those of Elizabeth, and he understood without words. She smiled broadly when he nodded almost unnoticeably. **"'Cause I had the time of my life. And I've searched through every open door. 'Til I found the truth. And I owe it all to you..."** She happily wrapped her arms around Horatio's neck, smiling, as he, smiling too, lifted the young mom from the stage with all strength he had. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear. Calleigh, holding daughter Emily, whom Horatio had handed her, watched her little sister closely. She wasn't a girl anymore. It actually was the first time the female CSI saw the happiness written all over Liz' face like that. She remembered that time when Stetler had come in and upset her so much she hadn't dared put one foot into the building anymore.

o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°

_"Leave... Rick," Calleigh had spoken on that awkwardly sweet honeyed tone, that meant you better stood on your right. He should have known never to mess with her, especially when she had continued on that less kind tone, "You're contaminating my evidence."_

_Right at that moment, Horatio had intervened. He had most likely noticed Rick marching into Calleigh's Ballistics lab through the glass panels of DNA, not long after her sister, immediately recognizing that one pace that emphasized the fact IAB Sergeant Rick Stetler considered himself always as the better man. Horatio'd left the DNA lab without saying a word, and had navigated to Firearms, where he could hear all words in the conversation as clearly just outside the doorway. Stetler had only been there to get Liz upset, and Horatio knew he loved doing just that. Rick would do almost anything to get back to him, for 'stealing' his promotion from him, even though he'd known just as well Horatio had been, and still was as well, more qualified. He didn't even let the chance go to upset a pregnant teenage girl, who had nothing to do with it all. Rick, however... couldn't care less about her innocence or the little human being inside her._

_"Rick." And Horatio had had to keep himself from bellowing it._

_"Horatio, I'm just trying to get Elizabeth updated on the fact she doesn't have to annoy Miss Duquesne, sorry– Mrs. Caine," he excused, stressing the two words in bitterness, before continuing, "...at work with her thrilled wish to become a single teenage mother. I'm sorry, Horatio, but... she doesn't really have anything to do here." As if the guy had meant he really was being sorry..._

_"Neither... do you," Horatio had replied, not failing to notice Liz being on the verge of tears and Calleigh trying to support her as best as she could, while the ultrasound was dangerously trembling between her little sister's fingers. There was no question about whether she was all right. She pretty obviously wasn't, and her trying to keep her tears unshed, confirmed the fact she wouldn't dare admit anyways. Especially not with Stetler, who kept intimidating her, still standing in front of her. "Rick... You. Me. Trouble," Horatio'd only said, with steel hard eyes._

_Their conversation had continued in H.'s office, where it had kind of escalated. Horatio had been... simply furious._

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

"Why?" Horatio wondered, letting go of her.

"For being just like you are," she replied, softly. "I love you."

"Why... I love you, too," her older brother-in-law replied her, somewhat taken aback by Elizabeth's words. She smiled, gathering her little baby son from her best friend.

"You were amazing up there!" Ann exclaimed, beaming.

Calleigh wriggled through the crowd of chairs and tables, and people, and joined them with little Emily, then yielded over the still sleeping baby boy, the size of a living doll, now hidden into his mommy's arms. "Is he asleep still?" She asked.

Elizabeth nodded, promised to be right back and handed her little guy over to his godmother again, watching them with a little smile, before disappearing in her search to the ladies' room. Her little one started crying almost immediately, subtly woken because of Ann's somewhat different temperature than his mother's. Liz had been so sure it was going to be a girl. She wasn't any less happy now it had turned out to be a boy, because he was all well, and healthy, but sometimes it seemed like the memory of her boyfriend suffocated her. Like right at this moment. She preferred to be alone for a little while at those times. To gather some strength before continuing with living her life the way she did.

O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°O°

It was the first time that year Detective Calleigh Duquesne saw it raining outside. She pushed the covers aside gently, left the double master bed, and picked up the first piece of clothing she found. This appeared to be her husband's shirt. She slid it on over her body, and fastened two buttons somewhere halfway, covering her breasts subtly. She came to a halt in her tracks at the window, through which her pure emerald green eyes perceived the water drops coming from the clouds in the sky. She noticed the grey windowsill darker stained with little rain drops outside, hearing Horatio's soft footfalls padding towards her, and suddenly she felt his hands onto her waist. She couldn't cover up a sensual moan, as she felt his naked body flush against hers, and felt a new hardness push against her thigh. His warm hands slipped under his shirt, which she was wearing, and found her silky skin, then what he had been looking for precisely. She threw her platinum blond head back in delight with his touches, as she held onto the windowsill inside.

His one hand moved down her body, and the second one gradually followed. Both of them blindly searched the buttons she had just a little earlier fastened, and unbuttoned them once again. His warm hands slid up over her arms and stopped moving at her shoulders, where they caught the pale blue fabric of his too large shirt she was wearing. He pulled the thin fabric down sensually, before it slid down her silky soft skin on its own, and ended up into a little pile at her feet, onto the parquet floor of their bedroom.

"Touch me," Calleigh said. "And kiss me where I've never been kissed before."

* * *

**§** **'I'M ALIVE' by CELINE DION**   
**§ 'THE TIME OF MY LIFE' by BILL MEDLEY & JENNIFER WARNES**


End file.
